Need a zero-volume bottle?
Searching for a one-sided surface?
Want the ultimate in non-orientability?
Get an ACME KLEIN BOTTLE!
At last, Acme has conquered topological and engineering frontiers to manufacture genuine glass Klein Bottles. These are the finest closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifolds sold anywhere in our three spatial dimensions.
These elegant bottles make splendid gifts, outstanding classroom displays, and inferior mouse-traps. With its circle of singularities, an Acme Klein Bottle can be said to exist inside of itself -- especially handy during time-reversals.
A mathematician's delight, handcrafted in glass
... from your Zero Volume Klein Bottle distributor
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Special -- I will write a custom message on your glass Klein bottle using a Sharpie pen (or, if you wish, sign my name on it). No charge for this -- just mention it at checkout.
At last - I've made the Acme Wine Bottle Klein Bottle - it's now in stock!
Self-siphoning Cup of Tantalus and a Topless Teapot
NEW -- IMPROVED! EVERY ACME KLEIN BOTTLE NOW COMES PRE-EQUIPPED WITH A GENUINE RIEMANNIAN METRIC! GUARANTEED! *CERTIFIED BY A REAL UNDERGRADUATE MATH MAJOR*
Do you accept the axiom of choice? Then ask about our special TWO-FOR-ONE sale, available during any total eclipse.
An Acme Klein Bottle is a perfect gift for a mathematician, computer scientist, or troglodyte. In Germany, it's called a Kleinsche Flasche. A Klein Bottle makes a great math gift and an ideal present for a mathematician!
Origami Klein Bottles? Yep! Also, check out my Klein Bottle Slicing Machine
We made the world's largest glass Klein Bottle for the Kingbridge Centre!
Answer to my most commonly asked questions:
1) Yes, I am Cliff Stoll, and I make and sell Klein Bottles.
2) Yes, I regularly send these to countries around the world.
2a) Corrolary to FAQ#2: Please do not send email to me, asking if I ship to Spain, Portugal, Italy, or Poland. The answer is YES. Typical postal transit times are 10 to 15 days (over which I have no control)
3) Yes, you can safely order from this website, and I will send your Klein bottle within 24 hours.
4) Yes, I pack each one very securely to survive the post; I guarantee safe, speedy delivery.
5) If you are unhappy with your Klein bottle, I will refund your money.
6) If this is a gift, I'll print "Happy Birthday" (or whatever you want) on the packing slip. or the outside of the package. If you wish, I'll write your message on the bottle with a Sharpie pen.
7) No, I no longer do the hot glass work - I contract this out to professional glassblowing shops. I do everything else myself - from design to packing to writing the html on this website, with occasional help from my son Danny, my daughter Zoe, and my wife Pat.
8) Yes, you are welcome to visit if you are traveling to San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley. Call first - 510 654 3958
9) Yes, there are many math jokes on this website, but despite that, I really do sell Klein bottles
10) Yes, my son Danny and I designed each of these bottles ourselves. Our designs are copyright © by Cliff Stoll
11) My website looks old-fashioned because it loads faster this way and I'm too lazy to rewrite it. I last updated this page on January 18, 2017 11:28 AM
12) Yes, that's me in the [ video / book / talk / college / bowling alley ]
-Cliff Stoll in Oakland (two blocks from Berkeley, 10 km east of San Francisco, and 6371 Km from the center of the earth)
ARE YOU A STUDENT, AGE 12 TO 17? Do you like the kind of math humor that's on this website? Then consider one of the terrific summer math camps! Two that come to mind are the Hampshire Summer Studies in Math (in Amherst, Massachusetts during July & August... learn why the Yellow Pig endorses 17 varieties of Acme Klein bottles -- hcssim.org) and the MathILy program at Bryn Mawr (five weeks of maximum mathematical marvelousness) (www.mathily.org) There are dozens more -- see a list of these camps at www.ams.org/programs/students/emp-mathcamps ... feel free to ask me for opinions or comments about these various math camps.
COMMITTED TO TRANSPARENCY! International and transgalactic organizations require transparency and openness-- Acme is proud to offer FULLY TRANSPARENT Klein Bottles that are OPEN and VISIBLE. We certify that NOTHING IS HIDDEN INSIDE YOUR ACME KLEIN BOTTLE!
Our "M&M's in a Klein Bottle Contest" is closed
When you order from this website, your should immediately receive an automated confirmation from my system. When I actually pack your Klein bottle, I will compose a non-automated email, with the return address of kleinbottle aaattat@attt kleinbottle ddoatatdot com. That second email will have a tracking number in it, as well as a link to photos of the package that I'm sending to you. If you don't see that second email within a day of ordering, please check your spam/junk mail folder. And if you still don't see that email from me, please send me a note and I'll figure out what's worng.
My email troubles: I receive huge amouts of spam. I never send out any spam. If you write to me, I may not see your email unless you include the phrase "klein bottle" in the subject. My replies to your may end up in your spam folder, so please include my address in your list of Permitted Senders.
HOW TO GET EMAIL TO CLIFF: Send me email - KLEINBOTTLE aa ttt KLEINBOTTLE (ddoott] COM Important: to get through layers of my spam filters, please mention "Klein Bottle" in the subject of your email and also in the body of your text. Please use plain text without html. Email with subjects like "Hello Cliff"or "Do you ship to Nigeria?"or "Good Day"will be delayed until I look at my spam folder.
HOW TO RECEIVE EMAIL FROM CLIFF: Iif you purchase anything from me, or write to me, please add kleinbottle aa ttt kleinbottle (ddooott) com to your Permitted Senders. This is especially important if you use gmail, hotmail, or AOL. Much of my email to these mailboxes gets blocked as spam, which annoys me greatly, especially when I spend half an hour composing an email and it winds up in the gutter.
Acme Klein Bottles by Cliff Stoll, (and Pat, Zoey, & Danny Stoll) 6270 Colby St. Oakland, CA 94618 USA phone 510 654 3958 We are a family business operating out of our home. Please call ahead if you plan to visit.
My travel schedule ... while at home, I send out Klein bottles when I receive an order - within 24 hours, and often within the hour. When I'm away, I send out all orders when I return. Here's my travel schedule:
** * * UPCOMING TRAVEL: * * **
** * * I am traveling from 2017 January 30 to about Feb 5 * * **
Seeking a topological solution to the global financial crisis? Help the world economy by purchasing an Acme Klein Bottle!
I last updated this page on January 18, 2017
If you're looking for ordinary bottles, you're knocking on the wrong door! Visit a real bottle maker to purchase wholesale bottles or plastic bottles. They're good people at ebottles - endorsed by Acme!