Imperfect Klein Bottles - Half Price!
Not available now - all gone!
Although we strive to manufacture the finest glass manifolds, ACME's esteemed Glassblower, E. Eddy Edsel, has been known to make mistakes.
As a result of Acme's commitment to Total Quality Manglement, our Seven Sigma Error Stomp uncovered a few not-quite-good-enough Klein Bottles. These are for sale at half price.
Yep, you heard me right. Half price. And only available here, the Acme Zero Volume Factory Outlet. For a limited time only (which is to say, "until I run out") When these are gone, I don't know when I'll have more.
What's wrong with 'em? Mostly minor cosmetic blemishes: weld spatter, oven marks, or finishing flaws. Sometimes it's a scratched area on the inside (or outside, seeing how it's the same). Some are mis-shapen: a slight kink in the loop or too wide/narrow around the base. A couple are demonstrators -- Klein Bottles that have been filled with water, left that way for 6 months, and now have watermarks on the inside. Usually, the marks are 3 to 10 mm across, and not visible unless you look close. Indeed, the flaws are sufficiently minor that they're hard to photograph. I toss out the real bloopers and those that with cracks. All are immersed in 3-dimensions -- sorry, no 4-dimensional seconds.
If you don't like the Klein Bottle you receive, you can return it for a refund (less shipping). So far, nobody has done so, suggesting that even our 2nd-quality Klein Bottles are pretty good.
In every other way, these behave like Acme's other Klein Bottles ... made of glass, one handle, one side, rustproof, Y2K compliant, etc. Each comes with Acme's unconditional guarantee. If you aren't happy with it, return if for a full refund, less shipping.
Acme follows the strictest ISO-9000 standards for grading Klein Bottles. Happily, International Standards Organizations have not made any Klein Bottle standards, so this is pretty easy: As a result, I grade my Klein Bottles as follows:
So what happens to the 3rds, 4ths, and 5ths? I toss 'em out or give 'em to friends. My friends then smile and walk away with quizzical looks on their faces.
Please don't pester me about other seconds. If you don't see something here, it means that I don't have it.
Now available from Acme's wastebin warehouse:
I'm sorry - no 2nd's available ... as of 30 Oct 2007, I am all out of them!
When (if) I make more, I will change this webpage.