Acme's Big Classical Klein Bottle
Klein bottle famine - see below...
Cliff's Klein Bottle Famine ...
I'm almost out of big classical Klein bottles, due to a large purchase by a certain mathematical institute coupled with my own poor planning. As of 2017-April-20, I have about two dozen left. My main supplier promises a shipment in July or August. To keep a few in stock (and prevent my forklift robot from starving), I've had to increase the price. When the new shipment arrives, I'll reduce prices to their pre-famine level.
Yes, you can order right now, and I will immediately send out your Klein bottle. If this page has an order button, then I have at least three big Klein bottles in stock.
... Thanks for your understanding! -Cliff Stoll
Here's what Felix Klein had in mind back in 1882, when he first dreamed of a closed, one-sided surface. It's elegantly curved, with a side loop making a transverse puncture at the nexus. An Acme Classical Klein Bottle is big enough to show to a classroom, yet slides easily into your backpack for trips across the Yukon.
With its center of gravity directly over its base, your Acme Classical Klein Bottle stands on its own -- no need for extraneous stands, complex levitation apparatus, or unreliable anti-gravity fields. Indeed, in the absence of external forces, its polhode rolls without slipping on the herpolhode lying in the invariable plane.
Unlike those inferior 4-dimensional Klein Bottles, you can fill your ACME Klein Bottle with water! An ordinary wine bottle cork fits the mouth, so you can completely fill the reservoir and side arm with no leakage. Click here for filling instructions.
This timeless exemplar of topological genius and glass blowing artistry costs only $95 - only slightly more than the value of Lehman Brothers Bank!
Because these are handmade, no two glass Klein Bottles are identical. One may be slightly taller, thinner, or might have slightly different curves. (Sorta like humans. Except that people aren't usually onesided. Politicians excluded.) In our photos, various pencils, eggs, onions, and bananas are used to show the size, quality, and versatility of each Klein Bottle. Please consider these as serving suggestions.
Like Acme's other fine Klein Bottles, this is handcrafted from the purest Borosilicate Glass ... Pyrex, Kimax, Bomex, or Simax. It has a bulk density: 2.23 gm/cm3 and expands just 0.000326% per degree C. This means that it'll shrink only a few microns when you trek from Tucson to Nome. Nor should you worry about it dissolving -- we have tested samples in water, acetone, and Jello.
How do we deliver such great manifolds? Volume! Volume! Volume!
Acme Klein Bottle - home to holes, handles, and hyperbole.
this page last updated by Cliff on April 20, 2017