Dear Happy Manifold Retailer:

Thank you for your inquiry about our zero volume manifolds.

As you know, we now make glass Klein Bottles. Mathematicians know them as one-sided, zero-volume bottles. But most people have never heard of 'em. After all, who needs a 4-dimensional Moebius Strip?

Utility? None. Perhaps a Klein Bottle might be handy if you're travelling to the 4th dimension. But I doubt that many of your customers regularly commute to external universes. Well, maybe you can use one of our Klein Bottles as a combination barometer-thermometer, but there are easier ways to determine if it's raining outside.

While we make Klein Bottles in several designs, all are topologically equivalent and fully immersed in our familiar three spatial dimensions. We guarantee them to be rustproof, even in Michigan. Their function, design, and manufacture are covered by a pending patent, which might or might not be approved.

Acme's environmental record speaks for itself. We manufacture our manifolds on a planet rich in silicon dioxide and we never clearcut forests nor smash oil tankers onto sensitive arctic shores. We are an Official Sponsor of the Cornell Topology Festival.

We do not make tobacco utilization devices, smoke distillation apparatus, or bongs. These are topologically uninteresting.

In short, our zero-volume bottles are perfect for PhD Mathematicans. None of your customers would want 'em. All the same, in the infinitesimal chance that you need large quantities of one-sided, zero-volume, non-orientable glass manifolds, here's our confidential, top-secret, eyes-only, not-for-reproduction, pretty-much-public, price list for Classical Klein Bottles: Prices are in US Dollars, and may vary with the phase of the moon.

We are happy to quote larger quantities, but due to the costs of terraforming other planets, the price may become prohibitive.

Please call before ordering from this price list, as wholesale pricing varies with the phase of the moon.

Warm wishes,

Cliff Stoll

Preseident, CEO, and assistant Bottle Washer

Acme Klein Bottle

6270 Colby Street

Oakland, CA 94618

phone +1 510 654 3958

Return to Acme Klein Bottle's Home Page, home to the single-sided manifold.