The truly teeny tiny Klein bottle

Eine kleine Klein bottle. (Or maybe, "eine winzig kleine Kleinsche Flasche")

Hardly 26mm tall - about an inch, give or take a furlong - so you can sneak it into your topology final exam.

Mathematicians tell us that this is topologically identical to its larger brethren. Yep, it's one-sided, zero-volume, and non-orientable.

Wear this on a necklace. Charm bracelet. Zipper handle. Suncatcher. Sweater pin.

Even better - buy two of these, and I will loop them on hypo-allergenic, stainless-steel hook earrings. Ideal for your sweetheart's genus-1 ears!

One tiny Klein bottle weighs 2.4 grams - less than a tenth of an ounce, or 2.756E-6 short tons (whatever those are). Featherweight for your ears - and they don't snag on clothing.

We make each tiny glass Klein bottle from heat-resistant borosilicate (Pyrex) glass. No two of them are identical, since each is handmade. Surprisingly strong, too. I've carefully placed the center of gravity directly over its base, so each tiny Klein bottle stands upright on tables, desks, and horizontal Euclidean planes.

I'll send your tiny Klein bottle in a little teal jewelry box along with dab of cotton to prevent rattling.

Only $35 for a tiny glass Klein bottle - cheaper than a typical college education!

And $57 buys a pair of zero-volume earrings - so exclusive that they've never been featured in the most high class fashion magazines!

Minor point: these range in size from 25 to 30mm tall and 13 to 17mm diameter. I make earrings from the smaller/lighter Klein bottles (I try to match them in size and shape). For individual tiny Klein bottles, I'll send Kleinbots at the larger end of the spectrum.

Better yet, Free shipping, anywhere in the Solar System on Earth! First-Class mail to the USA; Air Mail to other countries.

Along with the tiny glass Klein bottle, you'll receive Acme's exclusive topological propaganda to amuse and educate.

This isn't a toy - don't allow children to play with it, as it could be swallowed and your kid will wind up in either the 4th dimension or the emergency room (these may be the same place)

• - Height about 24 to 29mm (an inch more or less)
• - Diameter 14mm give or take a trifle
• - Weight: 2.4 gm (0.005 pounds)
• - Displacement 2 ml (0.07 fluid ounces)
• - Topological volume 0.0 ml (0 fluid ounces)
• - Comes complete with Riemannian metric. (I think)
• - Satisfaction Guaranteed or your money back