ENGRAVED GLASS KLEIN BOTTLES ARE NO LONGER AVAILABLE

We can engrave a name, phrase, or logo on a glass Acme Klein Bottle. Using a high-power, x-y driven laser beam, your logo can appear on any of our Klein Bottles.

NO - I NO LONGER VOLUNTARILY ENGRAVE KLEIN BOTTLES. Much too much trouble. Too many problems - Pyrex glass is very difficult to engrave and each mistake means that I must throw away a handmade klein bottle. Sorry, but I will only engrave a bottle if you are sufficiently wonderful that you can convince me to do so. Call me on the phone first.

On the big classical Klein Bottles, your artwork should fit within a square 4 cm by 4 cm (1 1/2 inches square). On the baby Klein Bottles, the rectangle is about 2 cm by 2 cm. For the Question Mark Klein Bottle, artwork should fit within a 4 cm circle (about 1 1/2") On the Klein-Stein Drinking Mugs, your artwork can wrap around the glass -- a rectangle about 22 cm by 10 cm (9 inches by 4 inches).

The laser engraving system has a resolution of about 4 dots per mm (125 dots/inch).

Ordinary text messages (like "Happy Birthday Felix Klein!") are easiest. Just include the message in the "special comments" section of the order form. I will pick a reasonable font and size, then engrave it onto your chosen Klein Bottle.

If you wish a logo, please make the image as a 300 dpi bitmap file (.tiff or .bmp). Do not use .jpg, and do not use 72 dpi images from the web. Black and white - no colour, and no grayscale. Email the file as an attachment to me at kleinbottle (att) kleinbottle (dawt) com.

When a high energy laser beam hits ordinary glass, the glass expands so quickly that it microscopically explodes, leaving a tiny crater. The result is bright white letters which look sandblasted. But because our Klein Bottles are made from low-expansion Pyrex, the laser beam doesn't cause as much expansion of the glass. Rather, the laser chips away the glass, resulting in a much more transparent engraving. The letters feel like sharply cut channels, about a 0.3 mm deep. If you wish, you can fill them in with white crayon.

For one engraved item, the cost is $75 plus the cost of the Klein Bottle. I need 3 days to make the engraving. (For same-day rush orders, engraving costs $200)

Here's a Question Mark Klein Bottle presented to Nobel Laurate Robert Merton at his 2001 Nomura Lecture at Oxford University. Alas, my photo isn't very good; the engraving looks great.

We can screen-print your signature, university emblem, or corporate logo on Klein Bottles. Ideal for weddings, conferences, topology festivals, political conventions, nuclear meltdowns, and IPO's. We'll print your logo for free on orders of 100 or more (nobody has ever ordered this many Klein Bottles...) We need about eight weeks lead time. But call -- we do this so seldom that we might be able to work something out.

As an example of this work, check out our calibrated Klein Bottles.

We're happy to collaborate on topological projects -- now in the works: the Klein Bottle's figure 8 immersion, Boy's Surface, cross-coupled Klein Bottles, and certain umbrella/projective plane immersions.

Tell us your needs -- if it can be immersed in 3-dimensions, we'll have fun making it!

We are now creating a line of Klein Bottle Accessories, useful in cleaning and fine tuning your Klein Bottle. Thise include specialized flexible bottle brushes and 4-dimensional solvents.

YES, you can get quantity discounts. If you're planning a summer seminar or extra-dimensional sales campaign, please call -- our prices drop considerably for quantities of 50 or more. And with each order of 100,000 Klein Bottles, we include a free axolotl.

We also manufacture Industrial Strength Klein Bottles, capable of standing up to intense heat, pressure, and shock. Our inexperienced staff can help you make a manifold exactly as needed. However, we do not recommend their use for undersea civilizations. For details and prices (they're not cheap), please contact Acme Klein Bottle, attention Foundry, Blast Furnace, and Bessemer Converter Divisions.